Sunday, June 27, 2010

Review: Green Silence

This blog is outrageously popular, and attracts literary tens of visitors every week.
So I think it is time for me to leverage my vast readership into some lucrative corporate sponsorships.
That's right, it is time for running product reviews.

First up:

Brooks Green Silence
I am still doing most of my running in The Red Shoes, but I am looking for something with less cushioning, something lower to the ground. I want a pair that are thin, light and flexible, so I went shopping for racing flats. I came home with these.


Form: C

For "CRAP". Yes, they have a wacky asymmetrical yellow and red color scheme, I give them points for trying.
But they do not invoke a flashy "Wow, that guy must be fast!" image.
It's more of a "Wow, that guy looks like Ronald McDonald the Creepy Clown" image.

Function: F
For "FLAT, NOT". These are sold as "racing flats". Shouldn't racing flats be flat? What's with the inch of spongy foam under the heal? Yes, they are flexible. But so are loofah sponges, and I could strap those to my feet instead and not spend $100.

Fit: D
For "DON'T FIT". These are very narrow and long. It was like I was about to go water skiing. I am told all "racing flats" are designed to be very narrow to squeeze all the blood out of your feet. Or something like that.

Overall:B
For "took them BACK". Thankfully, the shoe store took them back, informing me that Brooks is quite good at accepting returns.
I was about to go off on a rant about how I can't find a simple, flat shoe that will fit my foot. But this guy already did it for me.

Attention Brooks:
OK. I did my part by giving you free advertising. I anticipate crates of free stuff to start arriving at my doorstep. I'll take some shorts, and maybe a hat. But keep the shoes. They suck.

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